It's been almost two years since my partner and I spent several days staying at Sky Meadow and working with Miles. It's easy to see now that those days, which came after 20 years of marriage, constituted a turning point in our relationship. The peacefulness and beauty of Sky Meadow was mirrored in the remarkable space of openness and safety Miles offered us. With firm persistence, and yet extraordinary gentleness, he guided us to face our greatest difficulties as a couple, and press through the darkness towards love, clear boundaries and strong connection.
Miles’ work is entirely principle-based, and he makes those principles transparent, which places the power in the hands of his clients. He is thus a teacher as well as a counselor, and as such he models compassion, honesty and courage. We left Sky Meadow having not only attained a new intimacy in our relationship, but with concrete and valuable tools to help us remain there (or, I should say, to keep finding it anew).
-Associate Professor ,York University, Toronto
Miles, you touch so many people with your compassion, so I don't know if you are aware of how much you impacted our lives,with those few sessions back in September. After years of my own personal journey through therapy and of running around in a restless attempt to find emotional stability, I came to Sky Meadow to simply find some quiet time, away from my hectic life in NYC. Honestly, I thought that talking with you would be just a way to show that I was giving a chance to our relationship, at that point still so shaken from the burden of our recent divorces. I thought that those sessions would be beneficial mainly to my partner, as I thought he was too confused to sort things out on his own.
I came wounded and armed like the warrior I thought I was supposed to be... and I left for the first time in my life embracing my own vulnerability, open to jump back in our relationship that I described to you as a "beautiful pond that I know full of sharks", only because you helped me realize that all ponds are full of them, but the power of swimming and enjoying the beauty of them without getting too hurt is entirely on me.
You helped us finding strength and clarity for our individual journeys as well as a couple... You created such a safe space for sharing our pain and fears, allowing us to really listen to each other and for the first time really look at each other with compassion... It's hard to know what would have happened if we didn't meet you.. but I know for a fact that those few days at Sky Meadow had been a turning point for us, to the extent that we are now able to truly put that dark time behind, no matter how often the memory of it keeps coming back, and we finally feel brave enough to commit to a long journey together.
Laura Lo Forti
- Journalist, New York City
Miles is able to create a “listening space” between partners that facilitates a sense of closeness and separateness simultaneously. It is a technique that couples can use and master on their own to resolve differences and build intimacy. I have used it with countess couples and families in my practice and have been impressed with the results. It helps to create a secure bond between partners when each feels deeply heard and deeply known by the other.
In using this technique, the tendency to become defensive, overwhelmed, or critical falls away and is replaced by closeness, attunement, and an ability to work together to resolve difficulties. It has been an invaluable resource in my practice.
It has been a couple of months since we spent three hours with you at your gorgeous retreat in the North East Kingdom and I am pleased to report that the positive impact from the session continues to deepen and strengthen our relationship. Your unique approach, so different from the "traditional" therapy we've experienced, provided a catalyst for a new way of relating to ourselves and each other.
In a very delicate and gentle manner, you taught us to see how we were very subtly manipulating conversations in order to avoid taking responsibility for our own emotions, reactions and needs. In addition, the communication tools you demonstrated have been invaluable in our ability to continue with this new way of being together. For me, personally, it was a huge relief to meet someone (you) who could articulate, so well, what I was feeling inside about how relationship is different to society's general consensus of it.
My partner and I are now fully embarking on supporting each other's individuality without any feeling of threat. Differences can still occur, but with the ability to be radically honest with each other, there's little to no defensiveness or blaming and so it's much easier to reach resolve. I've always thought that the utmost honesty about who we are, moment to moment, as individuals, is what's needed for true intimacy to blossom. You have not only confirmed this, but you've also enabled it.
With sincere thanks, Lou